Help, I'm Straight!

Summary

My life is like one of those steamy web novels, and I'm just the security guard.

The city's most feared crime lord, pinned against a wall in a dark alley by his own subordinate, having a secret negotiation.

I saw it.

The alpha CEO, forcibly kissing his adopted son in a crowded elevator.

I saw that, too.

The tanned, muscular delivery guy, putting the moves on the innocent-looking student renting an apartment on the third floor.

Yep. Saw that one as well.

I listen with deadened ears to the chorus of… exertion… echoing from the wall of security monitors.