Husband by Mistake, Groom by Design

Summary

Even though my wife, Eunice Mercer, is afflicted with touch starvation, she never gets intimate with me over the five years of our marriage.

I keep enduring her antics, but all I get in return is the sight of Eunice coming home with a little boy in her arms.

"It's my fault for being allergic to you. Let me use this child to make it up to you."

Two years later, when I'm about to settle some official paperwork for the child, I find out that his mother is actually Eunice.

To make things worse, the staff member informs me that my copy of the marriage certificate is a fake.