I Loved His Stand-In For Years, Now I Have His Baby

Summary

My ex-boyfriend, whom I had desperately loved for years, was throwing a highly publicized engagement party with an avant-garde female director.

But playing on the massive screens at their engagement was a five-year-old video of me, crying and begging outside a police station, pleading with him not to abandon me.

"Schwartz! I'll be your secret lover, I don't care! Just please don't leave me!"

"If you leave me, I'll die!"

The short film was Samantha's breakout masterpiece. It was a raw, humiliating documentary of my entire pathetic existence as Schwartz's devoted lapdog.