My Brother Can Eat Dirt

Summary

My brother’s crush yelled herself hoarse at me. "My brother has a gorgeous girlfriend, does yours?" "My brother’s parents are whole and healthy, are yours?" I sneered, "My brother would eat dirt. Would yours?"

That night, my brother came home disheartened after being rejected for the seventh time. He found me crouching by the door, smiling with a face full of flattery. He paused, then asked with weary affection, "What mischief have you been up to now?"

The words were barely out when his phone rang. The man on the other end spoke with hesitant frustration: "You win. Okay?" "I genuinely couldn't bring myself to eat that stuff."