My Snake Boyfriend Is a Total Simp

Summary

I’m what you’d call a "try-hard." While everyone else gets cats or dogs, I got a snake just to prove I'm different.

Some people question my life choices.

"I can cuddle my cat anytime I want. Can you say the same about your snake?"

I leaned down and planted a big, fat kiss right on my snake's head. Mwah!

"Not only can I cuddle him, I can kiss him too."

"My dog is super friendly; you can pet him all you want, and he won't bite."

I ran my hands all over my snake's body, even playfully tying him into a loose knot.

"Mine's a softie. Easier to handle than a dog."