She Changed the Locks, I Changed My Life

Summary

My wife, who had always despised lugging around keys, ditched our modern smart lock for a clunky old-school key version.

She even bolted it shut during showers.

Every time I returned from work, I'd have to ring her up first.

Fed up, I slapped the divorce agreement on the table during a family get-together.

Everyone assumed I was drunk and joking.

My wife hauled off and cracked me across the face. "Am I asking too much? You promised you'd indulge me forever."

I met her glare with icy indifference and let out a bitter scoff.