The Possessive Algorithm

Summary

I’m high maintenance. Everyone says so.

But I landed a boyfriend who is mature, steady, and infinitely tolerant.

His friends couldn't stand it and told me to be nicer to him.

So, at dinner, I peeled a shrimp for him.

That night, he posted a rage-filled status update visible only to his "boys":

[Which one of you idiots ruined my bratty girlfriend?! I want her bad attitude back!]