They Collared the Wrong Man

Summary

The week before my thirtieth birthday, my fiancée, Chloe, transferred five million dollars from my primary investment account.

I told myself she was planning some kind of extravagant surprise. For a full day, I let myself live in that warm, hopeful delusion.

Then, on the morning of my actual birthday, she sent me a text. A measly happy birthday GIF and a $5.20 Venmo payment with the note: “Love you 5ever!