Watching My Wife Cheat in the Aquarium

Summary

My daughter, Jane Lavoy, ranks first among her peers in the city for the SAT. Her graduation banquet is being held at the most expensive underwater restaurant in town.

With less than an hour before the banquet begins, my wife, Mandy Schilller, who is in charge of coordinating the event, is nowhere to be found. My widowed brother-in-law, Zachary Grant, is also missing.

As I walk toward the massive aquarium in the center of the dining hall, a barrage of floating comments suddenly appears before my eyes.