Chapter 1

The night I finished my month of recovery, Donald Inksworth brought up, without warning, the nightmare I least wanted to talk about.

"Actually, the man who kept you locked away and violated you five years ago was Levi."

Levi Sinclair was the husband of his foster sister, Jolene Trafford.

A roar filled my head, and my mind went blank. "What?"

Donald continued, his voice as calm as still water, "Back then, Jojo found out she couldn't have children, and her mother-in-law had never liked her to begin with... To help her secure her place as Mrs. Sinclair, I agreed to what Jojo asked of me. We used you to get pregnant in her place… Lev had always wanted you for himself. So..."

So the three of them had conspired together. They locked me away and violated me day and night until I became pregnant.

I forced down my nausea as my lips trembled. "Why are you telling me this now?"

Donald let out a breath, as if a great weight had finally lifted from his chest. "I kept this secret for five years. It wore me down. And I've given you back the child I owed you.

"They say a woman's heart softens once she becomes a mother. Looks like that's true... You're not falling apart like you used to. You've really become much better behaved."

I tugged at the corners of my mouth and forced something resembling a smile.

He didn't know that I hadn't become better behaved at all. I simply had a secret of my own that I had yet to confess to him.

Chapter 1

The brutal truth had left me reeling, but something in his words still struck me as odd. "The child you owed me... What did you mean by that?"

Donald froze for a moment. He was clearly still hiding something from me.

He scratched his head, then gave up trying to conceal it and told me outright, "Before that happened, weren't you pregnant? So I smeared some shoe polish at the top of the stairs..."

The realization struck me like a lightning bolt. My fingers would not stop trembling.

The first child I had longed for with all my heart had been taken from me by his own father.

The baby had been seven months along, a fully formed baby boy. In just two more months, he would have entered the world. Yet his own biological father had destroyed him with his own hands.

It felt as though an invisible hand had closed around my heart and squeezed. The pain was so intense that I could barely breathe.

I opened my mouth without thinking as my breaths came faster and faster.

When Donald saw my reaction, he grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it gently. "I know this is hard for you, but we have Harry now. It's the same."

I looked at the baby asleep in the crib as tears slipped silently down my cheeks. "It's not the same..."

Donald frowned and released my hand. His voice dropped. "How is it not the same? They're both our children. Just think of Harry as that child reincarnated and returned to your womb. Isn't that enough?

"Besides, after the miscarriage, I dropped everything and stayed by your side the entire time. I made every meal myself to help you recover...

"Begonia Hudson, I don't owe you anything."

Did he really think a new child and a little care could erase the agony of having my baby torn from my body?

Impossible. I refused to accept it.

Donald's raised voice startled Harold awake, and he burst into loud cries.

Donald immediately picked him up and murmured softly to soothe him.

When he first learned I was pregnant with Harold, Donald had been every bit as overjoyed as I was. He had prepared the nursery early, and tiny clothes had piled up until the closet could hold no more. He would gently touch my belly, tell the baby stories, and listen for the slightest movement.

This child had received the full measure of a father's love, the kind our first child had never known.

Donald truly loved Harold. But now, that only made things worse. The more he loved him, the more my heart ached.

Donald brought Harold over and tried to place him in my arms.

My eyes reddened, but I only stared at him coldly and refused to reach out.

A flicker of disgust crossed Donald's face. "I thought you'd finally learned to behave. Turns out you still have that temper. If you really can't get over it, we don't even need to hold tomorrow's one-month celebration. Let's just go to the courthouse and get divorced."

I stared hard at him, as though I could peel back his skin and see whether there was any warmth in his heart at all.

Five years ago, he had said the same thing about divorce, right after I discovered that he had slept with his foster sister.

Chapter 2

Back then, the fragile sanity I had only just managed to piece back together shattered once more. I lost control and lunged at Jolene, grappling with her.

I had recorded a video and was ready to send it to Jolene's mother-in-law.

Donald slapped me and stopped me. "I was just in a bad mood. I'd had too much to drink. If you can't accept it, then let's get divorced!"

In a bad mood?

Back then, nothing frightened me more than the thought of him being unhappy. Unhappy with how tainted my body had become. Unhappy about the cursed child growing inside me.

I dropped to my knees and begged him bitterly.

I refused to divorce him. I even pounded frantically at my own stomach.

Pathetically, I convinced myself that Donald's affair was the cursed child's fault.

It was my fault.

Donald pulled me into his arms as I fell apart. "Nia, don't do this. You've already had one miscarriage. If you miscarry again, you might have trouble getting pregnant afterward."

That was his reason for urging me to keep the child.

Only now did I understand that he had never been concerned about my health. He simply had not wanted his foster sister's dream of becoming lady of the house to die stillborn in my womb.

When my face turned ghostly pale, Donald assumed the word "divorce" had frightened me again.

He softened his voice. "Nia, as long as you behave, the three of us can live a good life together. You're tired today. Get some rest. I'll take care of the baby."

That night, Harold cried and fussed three or four times in the next room.

Donald soothed him alone. He did not come to me, and I did not go to him.

The next day was Harold's one-month celebration.

I sat in the room and listened to the guests gush over how adorable the baby was. I felt nothing at all.

The bedroom door suddenly opened, and a sweet, delicate voice rang out. "Nia, why won't you come out?"

Jolene walked in with five-year-old Benjamin by the hand.

The moment Benjamin saw me, he ran straight over and threw himself into my arms. "Auntie, Benny missed you so much!"

His small face looked almost exactly like Levi's, but his eyes bore a striking resemblance to mine.

I had never been able to understand why. Now, I finally did.

My stomach churned violently.

I shoved Benjamin away as if I had seen a ghost and screamed, "Get away from me! Don't touch me!"

Benjamin landed hard on his backside and froze in shock.

Meanwhile, Jolene smiled.

In the past, whenever she saw Benjamin getting close to me, she would needle me with one snide remark after another.

Last Mother's Day, Benjamin had given me a gift too.

Jolene had flown into a rage and deliberately kissed Donald right in front of me. "You steal my son, I'll steal your husband!"

I had tried to lunge at her and tear into her, but Donald had held me back. "You already accepted her son's Mother's Day gift. I just got kissed once. It's nothing!"

All I could do was lose control and smash everything in sight.

But Jolene seemed to find my breakdowns amusing. Whenever Benjamin showed me affection, she would become intimate with Donald.

Then she would hide behind Donald's protection and smile as she watched me lose my mind again and again.

Jolene glanced at Benjamin on the floor but made no move to pick him up. "What's wrong with you, Nia? Benny loves you so much. He just wants to be close to you.

"While you were in confinement, he begged every single day to come see you."

Just then, Donald walked in with Harold in his arms.

He frowned at Jolene in displeasure. "Didn't I tell you not to bring him?"

After Jolene coaxed Benjamin out of the room, she looped her arm affectionately through Donald's and pouted. "I thought Nia would want to hold her own son!"

So she already knew what Donald had confessed to me. She had brought Benjamin here on purpose to torment me.

With a roar, I grabbed the vase beside me and hurled it at her.

Donald yanked Jolene out of the way, his eyes blazing with fury. "Begonia, have you lost your mind?"

"Yes, I've lost my mind!"

I lunged at Jolene and grabbed her by the throat.

The next second, Donald kicked me away.

Whether he did it on purpose or by accident, I could not tell. His foot struck me squarely in the stomach. My barely healed womb felt as though it had torn open all over again.

Cold sweat drenched me from the pain.

"Nia..." A flicker of pity crossed Donald's eyes, and he started toward me.

Suddenly, thick smoke billowed through the doorway and flooded the room.

"Fire! There's a fire!"

Without a moment's hesitation, Donald grabbed Jolene and ran for the door.

I had only recently finished my recovery, and Donald's kick had left me with no strength to run.

The smoke choked me. I was on the verge of passing out when a figure rushed into the room. "Begonia, where are you?"

I forced my eyes to focus on the man's face.

The moment I recognized him, my entire body went rigid. Every agonizing memory crashed over me at once.

"Don't touch me! Don't touch me!" I screamed like a madwoman and fought with everything I had.

But Levi Sinclair pinned my arms and legs down without mercy, just as he had in that dark little room. "Stop moving! Do you want to die?"

His touch was worse than death.

I struggled and screamed until I had no strength left. Then I retched over and over.

Once we reached safety, Levi, furious after I had clawed at him the entire way, threw me to the ground.

I hit hard. Everything went black, and I lost consciousness.

When I woke up, Donald was nowhere by my side. He had only called me once.

"I'm sorry. Jojo was closest to me at the time, and I had Harold in my arms… But once I got outside, I told Levi to go save you...

"I've been busy lately with Harold and the aftermath of the fire. While you're in the hospital, I'll have Levi look after you."

Chapter 3

"Donald, what are you saying? You know full well he's..." My voice cracked and trembled.

Donald grew impatient. "Don't be so dramatic. It's all in the past now."

Suddenly, Jolene's voice came through the phone. "Donny, I need to use the bathroom. Hurry and carry me!"

The cold click of the call ending severed my connection to the world all over again and dropped me into an endless abyss.

So he wasn't only taking care of Harold. He was taking care of Jolene and her twisted ankle too.

He hadn't hesitated to save Jolene and stay by her side. Yet he'd left me at the mercy of a rapist.

I had begged him to save me and take care of me. That wound had festered inside me for five years.

Now he'd driven the knife even deeper without mercy.

The pain made me scream, and he called me dramatic.

Levi wore the smug expression of a man who had gotten exactly what he wanted as he poured me a glass of water.

I knocked it out of his hand at once.

Water soaked his sleeve, but he didn't seem bothered. "No need to be so hostile toward me. They say one day of marriage buys a hundred days of gratitude. Do the math. How many days of gratitude do we have between us?"

I bit down on the torn flesh at the corner of my mouth and gripped the bedsheet until my knuckles ached.

Levi's gaze fell to my mouth, disgust flashing in his eyes.

"Still biting yourself like that, huh?" He reached for me.

I recoiled on instinct. I was like a bird that had already been shot once.

I smashed the vase beside the bed, snatched up a sharp shard, and slashed it across his arm. "Get out!"

The jagged edge sliced into my own palm. Blood welled from the cut and streamed down my hand.

I didn't feel the pain.

Shaken, Levi left the hospital room.

…

Donald finally showed up on the day I was discharged. He carried a bouquet of begonias, my favorite flowers.

He took me to the restaurant we used to frequent when we were dating and ordered the dish I'd talked about constantly throughout my recovery.

On the way back, he talked endlessly about Harold, a smile fixed on his face. To him, even getting peed on by Harold was something to be happy about.

I felt nothing at all.

As we passed the courthouse, I finally spoke for the first time that day. "Let's get divorced."

Donald slammed on the brakes and stared at me in disbelief. "What did you say?"

Even when he'd cheated on me, I'd never dared to bring up divorce. Yet now I'd said the word without hesitation.

Just then, his phone buzzed with a message.

It was from Levi.

[Busy today? Nia's getting discharged. Want me to go pick her up?]

Donald's eyes instantly blazed with fury. "Is that why you want a divorce? Because of him? It's only been a few days, and the two of you are already carrying on together?

"What? Now that you know there's a child between you, you can't wait to crawl into his bed and relive what it felt like when he violated you? You filthy whore!"

The humiliating words struck me like a slap across the face.

My entire body shook with fury. I had never imagined that was how he saw me.

"I never—"

Donald suddenly unclipped his seat belt and lunged across the seat, pinning me beneath him. "You slut. You like being violated, don't you?"

He tore at the buttons of my shirt and sank his teeth into my neck.

I summoned every last bit of strength and slapped him hard across the face. "Donald, let go of me!"

Then I glared at him without flinching. "Get off me!"

Donald's eyes turned bloodshot. "Fine! Go find your other man!"

He shoved me out of the car and left me there with my clothes torn and disheveled as strangers pointed and stared. Then he drove away without looking back.

I wrapped my arms around myself and endured the stares of everyone around me as I walked home one slow step at a time.

The mansion that had burned down was the climate-controlled house Donald had bought specifically for my recovery.

Back then, he'd taken care of both me and the baby. Even though he'd hired a recovery nurse, he'd insisted on doing everything himself.

Now the mansion was gone. The peaceful, quiet days we'd spent there had gone up in flames with it.

Chapter 4

The moment I walked through the door, I found Donald and Jolene tangled together on the couch. Neither showed the slightest embarrassment at being caught.

I did not spare them a glance. I simply walked past.

Jolene came into the room while I packed my bags. She wore a lace nightgown that barely covered her, and telltale marks covered her exposed skin.

"Begonia, my husband slept with you for free all those days, but I only got to sleep with Donny twice. I still came out behind."

I ignored her and kept my head down as I folded my clothes.

My refusal to acknowledge her only irritated her further.

She stormed over, snatched away the clothes I had crocheted by hand for my first child, and stomped on them. "He's dead. What's the point of keeping these?

"You probably don't even know what happened. While you were being pampered during your recovery period, with Donny taking care of you, I told him I'd dreamed that baby came to claim my life. Guess what he did?"

I froze.

A smug, vicious smile spread across Jolene's face. "He didn't say a word. He just found a priest and had your child's ashes sealed away next to the garbage dump..."

A roar exploded in my head. I lost all reason and lunged at Jolene.

I tore and clawed at her, then clamped both hands around her throat like a vengeful ghost out to claim her life.

Donald rushed in and tore me away from her before backhanding me across the face.

My ears rang instantly.

He slapped the divorce papers down on the table. His signature was already at the bottom. "Begonia, you'd better think this through carefully. If you divorce me, do you really think Levi will marry you?"

I let out a cold laugh. Without so much as looking at him, I signed my name.

Donald's expression darkened.

Just then, Harold woke up hungry.

Donald looked at me coldly. "Custody of Harry goes to me. Since you're leaving anyway, you might as well nurse him one last time."

I stared at him in disbelief. I had never nursed Harold, not even once. He had always been fed formula.

I remembered how a nurse had once made an offhand remark about it. "That's cold. Pumping and dumping the milk instead of feeding her own baby."

Donald had fired her on the spot.

Afterward, he comforted me. "Nia, it's fine. I know you're afraid of the pain. Formula is just as nutritious as breast milk..."

Now he carried Harold straight over to me and treated me like nothing more than a dairy cow.

"I won't feed him." I grabbed my packed suitcase and turned to leave, but Donald seized my wrist.

His voice turned icy. "You'll feed him whether you want to or not."

He set Harold on the bed and pinned both my hands behind my back.

The fabric across my chest tore apart.

I fought with everything I had and screamed, "Donald! You bastard! Let go of me!"

Levi heard the commotion and came running. He and Jolene stood in the doorway and watched.

But Donald showed no sign of stopping. The moment Harold latched on hungrily, the last shreds of my dignity crumbled.

"Why... Why are you doing this to me?!"

Donald leaned close to my ear. "Nia, look. Harry's so happy. Could you really bear for him to never see his mother again?"

It hurt. It hurt so much.

I closed my eyes in despair as tears seeped from beneath my lashes.

I did not know how much time had passed before Donald finally released my hands. "Nia, think it over carefully. Can you really give up both the baby and me?"

With that, he picked up a full and contented Harold and left.

Jolene and Levi left as well, satisfied now that the show was over.

I lay slumped on the bed like a broken doll. My tears had long since run dry.

He had asked if I could bear it.

How could I not? I no longer wanted him. I did not want the child either.

I changed into fresh clothes and set a report beside the divorce papers. Then I took my suitcase and left that place of heartbreak behind, my heart as cold as the dead of winter.

-

Donald returned to the room later. He had expected to find Begonia waiting there, ready to apologize to him. Instead, he found an empty room and a missing suitcase.

The truth was unmistakable.

Begonia Hudson was gone. She had actually gone through with the divorce. She had actually left him.

Donald flew into a rage and began smashing everything within reach. Then his gaze suddenly landed on the report beside the divorce papers.

His face turned deathly pale. His hands trembled as he snatched up the thin document. It was a paternity test.