Chapter 4

When I got home, Mom and Dad were sitting on the sofa with cold faces.

I took a deep breath and put on a smile.

"Mom, Dad, why aren't you sleeping so late?"

They looked at me, their eyes full of exhaustion.

"Nina, what did you do?"

"Do you know Wendy just threatened to kill herself?"

The forced smile froze on my face, a buzzing sound filling my ears.

I shook my head, my voice distant:

"Mom, my depression is really bad. I just had an auditory hallucination."

"How could Wendy want to kill herself?"

Mom walked up to me, her eyeballs filled with bloodshot veins.

Her hand rose high and came down hard.

A burning sting spread across my cheek.

I heard her crying as she shouted at me:

"Nina, how long are you going to keep up this act?"

"Wendy was kidnapped because of us. To save you, she became disabled. We were afraid she and her family would hate you, so we did everything we could to make it up to her."

"But what did you do? You saw her once and almost drove her to death!"

She covered her face and collapsed crying into Dad's arms.

Dad's face was deathly pale, his lips trembling:

"Nina, Wendy is more pitiful than you."

"I don't care what you said to her. Come with us to the hospital right now and get on your knees to apologize to her and her parents."

"You don't come home until they forgive you."

He reached out and grabbed my wrist, his fingertips pressing right into my wound through my sleeve.

The pain brought me a strange pleasure.

I suddenly laughed.

Under their horrified gazes, I rolled up my sleeve a little.

Just enough to reveal the wound on my wrist.

"If I apologize to them, then who's going to apologize to me?"

"Mom, Dad, I have very, very severe depression. I want to die."

I said this almost woodenly.

Mom cried even harder, and Dad's face looked even worse.

They pushed past me and slammed the door hard.

Leaving behind only one sentence: "Playing the victim to escape responsibility again. If we'd known you'd turn out like this, we shouldn't have rescued you in the first place."

I stood in the living room for a very, very long time.

So long that the sky changed from dark to gray, and finally a piercing light appeared.

The sky outside grew bright.

But my sky had become eternal night.

I smiled a little and moved my numb legs.

I picked up the broom and mop and cleaned the entire house.

When I was first rescued, I wouldn't eat or drink, my whole person like a soulless broken doll.

Mom and Dad were afraid I'd do something drastic, so they tried every way to distract me.

They choked up: "Nina, if there's anything that can make you forget those things, just do it."

"Mom and Dad don't want to lose you."

For those words, I became obsessed with housework.

Over time, the habit stuck.

But this time I was exceptionally meticulous, cleaning every corner.

After all, it was the last time.

I put on my most presentable clothes and lay down on the bed.

I opened the sleeping pills I'd prepared long ago and shoved them into my mouth by the handful.

Good thing I'd prepared honey water.

Otherwise, how could I swallow such bitter pills?

Outside the window, clouds covered the sun.

It was dark—perfect for sleeping.

But as I grew drowsy, I wanted to say goodbye to them.

I sent everyone a message.

*Dad, I'm in so much pain right now.*

*Mom, I miss you so much. You haven't hugged me in so long.*

*Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence, I'm sorry. I'm the one who hurt Wendy.*

*Wendy, you guessed my illness. Don't do anything fool...*

My vision kept going black.

I had no strength left.

My body didn't hurt anymore either. I felt light as a feather.

Let it be like this. There's nothing much left I want to say.