Chapter 1

A tsunami was coming. My wife was the captain of her ship, and she gave her true love the only chance at escaping, all to protect him.

I begged her to save me first, or else I would die in this disaster.

She told me impatiently, “Drop the act. Everyone knows you’re a first-rank seafarer. We’d be better off if selfish souls like you really do die!”

She had forgotten one thing. I could no longer go into the sea. Not after I developed thalassophobia from saving her.

Chapter 1 Loss of Life

I died on my fifth wedding anniversary. My soul hovered over the Southern Sea, watching how sharks devoured my body from head to toe. It was torn apart, while Queenie Dewman and Zach Wood were nearby, leading the rescue squad to a safe spot.

The moment the rescue boat reached them, she pulled Zach aboard without hesitation. As for me, she tossed a lifebuoy into the water. "You can swim back to the shore. Zach can't swim. He'll die if he falls into the sea. You're a rank one seafarer. You can just swim back to the shore. You'll be fine."

Then, with growing irritation, she added, "Have you forgotten your duty? You're really going to let someone else be in danger? You're so selfish."

She had forgotten the truth. After saving her years ago, I developed severe thalassophobia. I could no longer work as a seafarer. When I told her I would die if I were left in the sea, she scoffed. "Then die!"

Queenie led the rescue squad away quickly. Another wave crashed into the ship. It capsized, and I fell into the sea. Seawater filled up my nose, and I could not breathe. My eyes kept looking up, hoping she would come back for me.

When I realized I could not swim back to the shore, I slowly started to feel fear welling from my heart. Alas, in the end, I died in the waters I once loved so deeply.

…

My soul stayed with Queenie after I died. I watched how she begged the doctor to save her first love. The nurse patted her hand. "It's alright. We'll do everything we can to save your husband. You're his wife. You should stay strong."

Queenie wiped her tears away. Her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying. I was right beside her, my heart feeling a slight sense of sorrow. I was her husband. Yet the person she refused to leave was someone else.

The tsunami had struck without warning. Nearly everyone aboard survived because of the rescue effort. I was the only one who didn't make it.

Seeing that Zach had escaped with only minor injuries, Queenie finally relaxed. "Are you alright, Zach?" she nervously asked, even though the doctor had said it was only a slight shock.

"Thank you, Queenie. If you weren't there, I could've…" Zach hung his head low, and his voice trailed off.

"Don't say that! You'll be alright!" She gently covered his mouth before peeling an orange for him, carefully removing every strand of pith.

I could not believe she had this gentle side to her. Watching them, I couldn't help remembering our marriage. I had always peeled fruit for Queenie because she disliked doing it herself. Even then, she often left it untouched.

It wasn't that she couldn't be gentle. She had simply never chosen to be that gentle with me.

Zach asked quietly, "Where's Jonathan? Did they rescue him?"

The mention of my name sparked Queenie's impatience. "Forget about him," she said coldly. "He claimed he couldn't go into the sea anymore. As if I'd believe that. He's a first-rank seafarer."

I did not lie. When she was trapped in the sea, I had to hold my breathing for ten minutes just to pull her back to shore. The doctors later told me that I had come dangerously close to losing my own life. After that, I developed thalassophobia and could no longer work as a seafarer.

Zach wiped the tears off his face and said weakly, "I'm sorry I ruined your trip."

"It's not your fault! It's Jonathan's! You wouldn't have been hurt if he hadn't hesitated!" Queenie's tone was filled with castigation.

Even now she was making it my fault. All Zach got away with was a little shock. Meanwhile, I had lost my life.

A while later, Queenie's colleague asked if all the ship's crew was fine. Everyone replied to the message, save for me.

One of the colleagues knew something was wrong, so they texted Queenie in the group, "Where's Mr. Dutchman? He didn't reply."

Queenie frowned. "Ignore him! Let him play dead if he wants! I'd love to see how long he can drag this out."

She truly believed I was pretending. But in all the years we had been together, I had never once lied to her.

Chapter 2 Back to Work

Back then, Zach was diagnosed with a virus, and Queenie did not come home for days just to take care of him. At the same time, I came down with the flu. It got so bad that I could barely get out of bed.

I called Queenie, hoping she could bring me some fever medicine.

Zach was the one who took the call, and he sounded as healthy as any other guy. "What's up, Jonathan? Queenie's cooking."

I could hear Queenie ask if Zach wanted a bit of sugar in his food. He answered and asked me, "Want to have a meal with us, Jonathan?"

I bit my lip and was about to answer, but Queenie took the phone. Furious, she asked, "What are you doing? I don't have time to chat with you! Don't call me ever again!"

"But I'm really sick," I said through my dry, burning throat. "Can you bring me some medicine?"

"Drop the act, Jonathan! Zach's sick, and now you are too? When Zach gets hurt, you get hurt too? Do you dislike him so much? Can you stop being so selfish?"

My voice trembled. "But I've got the flu…"

"Enough already! How about you keep up that act until you drop dead!" Queenie hung up angrily.

The busy tone rang in my ear. I knew I had failed again. Every time I tried to go against Zach, I always ended up losing. She had never chosen me, not even once.

Even now, I could still remember the impatience in her eyes right before I died. It was just like all those years ago, when she chose Zach and abandoned me without hesitation.

We were classmates in college, and I had a crush on Queenie. One day, Zach killed someone during a drunken brawl. When Queenie and I got there, he was covered in blood, and the guy he beat was lying lifelessly on the ground.

Zach was terrified. He kept telling Queenie he had not meant for things to go that far. She could not bear to let him go to prison, so she came to me, her suitor. She promised she would go out with me if I were to take the fall, no matter what happened afterward.

I could not refuse her, so I said yes. She took Zach's hand and checked the surrounding. Once it was clear, she quickly left, while I stood waiting for the cops, holding the bat like I was the criminal.

She did not even look back. She hurried off as if she was laughing at me. There were no surveillance cameras nearby, and the victim was already dead. I was branded as a criminal. On the day I was sentenced to prison, I said I wanted to see Queenie, but she refused.

She texted me to say she would not forget this.

After I was released, she married me right away, much to my surprise. My parents had been worried I might never find a wife, but they could rest easy after that.

After we got married, I did everything she wanted me to. I did all the chores, I took her to and from work, and I even got my license as a seafarer for her, all so I could protect her.

Every time she went out to sea, I was worried something bad might happen, so I stayed with her every single time.

Seeing my life end in the deep blue was something I never saw coming. Ironic, considering I was a brilliant seafarer.

Zach's injuries were not serious. He was discharged soon enough, and Queenie went back to work soon after.

The colleagues who went through that harrowing experience celebrated their survival on Queenie's first day back at work.

Some reporters also came to interview her. They said she had saved many people during the rescue. They called her brave and capable. They praised her for keeping the casualties to a minimum, saying only one person was still missing.

Queenie was confused. "No one is missing. Everyone's saved!"

The reporter held their mic and added, "But the police said there's one crew member that's still missing. A Dutchman, I believe."

Queenie refused to accept the truth. She denied, "No! Everyone was saved. Do not question my abilities."

Chapter 3 Artemis' Retort

I sighed. They were probably talking about me. The incident had already passed, but my body still had not been found. Then again, I was devoured by sharks. Of course they could not find me.

Queenie used her authority to shut down the reporter's question. Everyone knew she was one of the few female captains in the nation.Her skill was highly respected, and Queenie was proud of her position as captain.

While the interview was still going on, I drifted around the company and saw Zach waiting on the first floor. He was holding a bouquet of roses, standing in front of the reception like a peacock.

I looked down and sighed. This guy did not know Queenie was allergic to roses. That was why I always bought baby's breath for every single important day. Back then, Zach had laughed at me for not knowing the first thing about romance.

Now I could mock him for never understanding Queenie, but I underestimated how much Queenie loved him. She took the roses despite the itchiness. Though spots of rashes were appearing on her face, she still held the bouquet tightly in her embrace.

The roses got a lot of attention, and her colleagues said she was popular with men. After all, I had always picked her up from work, and now a handsome man had come to bring her flowers.

The moment someone mentioned my name, Queenie shot that person an icy glare. Her lips curled downward. "Like I wanted him to! Don't put us in the same sentence. I would never fall for a petty man who would risk someone else's life just to save himself."

Something invisible slammed into my heart. So that was how she saw me.

Zach put an arm around Queenie, looking all blissful. If I had not been Queenie's husband, perhaps I would have given them my blessing.

One of our colleagues sighed and said it was a shame my long courtship ended in failure.

Queenie heard that and swiveled around. "What are you pitying a fake, petty man for? If I ever fell for someone like him, I'd rather die!"

Every word she said sliced through what remained of my heart.

The company was having its third anniversary celebration. Queenie brought Zach to the team building event as well. Everyone raised a toast for the future of the company. When they wished all the captains and crew safe sailings every single time, someone mentioned me.

"I still haven't seen Mr. Dutchman. Did something happen? Can anyone call him?"

Artemis Hengefort, my junior, volunteered to call me. But no one picked up.

I watched them trying and trying to call, and I sighed. Unless this was some kind of fantasy world, the dead could not answer phones.

After a few failed attempts, Artemis suggested that Queenie make the call. She said I would never miss Queenie's calls.

Queenie's face fell, but with everyone watching, she could not refuse. Suppressing her anger, she dialed my number.

The phone kept ringing. With each unanswered beep, her irritation grew. Finally, she snapped, "I don't care if he doesn't show up. This show can still go on without him! I hope he never comes! He annoys me!"

I held back the urge to start a big fight. There was no point fighting with her, not when I was already dead. I died in the deep blue on our anniversary.

Artemis shot up from her seat and retorted, "How can you say that about him? Do you even have a heart? He gave you the chance to escape that tsunami, and you left him behind while taking your lover with you. And you still call yourself his wife?"

That caught everyone's attention. All eyes turned toward Queenie, waiting for her answer. Beside her was Zach. Queenie glanced at him, then stood up as well.

"That's nonsense! He didn't need my saving, not when he's a rank one seafarer! He just hates Zach. I know him too well!"

Artemis sneered. "You know him? You don't even know who saved you in the Southern Sea. You don't know who dragged you back to shore. He nearly lost his life saving you. If help had come any later, he might never have woken up. He has thalassophobia. Did you know that? No, of course you didn't. You were busy flirting with your lover! I was the one who took care of him!"

At first, Queenie only scoffed at Artemis, but slowly, that arrogance turned into disbelief. "What?"

Her voice trembled faintly. "He has thalassophobia?"