Chapter 1

On our third wedding anniversary, I waited for Xander Christian for five hours at his favorite restaurant.

Once again, he has disappeared.

In the end, I found out where he went on the social media of his childhood sweetheart, Josie Law.

He took her to Antartrica.

[I just said I was in a bad mood, so he ditched the whole world just to cheer me up. Turns out, he cheers me up much more than the penguins.]

In the photos, it was all icy and frosty, but he held her gently in his arms. I had never seen such blazing warmth in his eyes. Not once was it ever directed at me.

At that moment, I was just tired.

I was too tired to question.

I was too tired to fight.

I was too tired to cry.

I simply liked the post and sent him a short message, [Let's get a divorce.]

A long time later, he finally replied with a voice message, his tone was full of careless amusement, "Sure. I'll sign the papers when I'm back. We'll see who ends up begging me not to leave."

Those who were loved and favored were often fearless. He didn't believe my words at all.

Yet, Xander—

No one was truly indispensable. People would only stay because they were in love.

From this moment on, I no longer loved you.

Chapter 1

I dined alone in the restaurant.

My stomach was full, but my heart felt hollow.

When I returned home, I printed the divorce papers. I was just about to sign them when my phone vibrated.

Josie Law sent me a screen recording of a video call. In the video, she and Xander Christian were standing on the deck of a luxury cruise ship. On the other end of the line were their friends cheering with admiration.

"A trip to Antartrica? That costs at least 100 thousand! Xander had never once taken Josephine on even a 10-thousand-dollar trip, right?"

"He spends money on where his love is!"

"It's surprising that Josephine didn't even make a scene this time. She even liked the post!"

Josie said in a feigned huff, "Of course she did. She even asked Xander for a divorce."

The other friends erupted in shocked gasps.

"Josephine used to only throw small tantrums, and now, she'd even dare bring up divorce? She's not serious, is she?"

"Of course not," Xander replied calmly. "She just wants me to go back and keep her company. I was heading back soon, yes, but I hate being threatened the most. So, I've decided to accompany Josie for a few more days."

His eyes gleamed icily, but when he lifted his hand to smooth Josie's wind-tousled hair, his demeanor softened.

Their friends teased them again.

"Get a room!"

"Xander, why don't you just take this chance and divorce Josephine?"

"Everyone knows that the only reason Josephine could end up with you back then is because of Josie. Now that Josie's back, she can step aside."

"Yes, Josie, look at Xander. He's a high-flying executive now. His feelings for you have never changed."

Xander swallowed. Just as he was about to speak, Josie suddenly buried her head into his arms.

"Xander, get them to stop. If they keep this up, they'll tarnish our pure friendship. Besides, it's normal for a housewife to overthink. Just indulge in her, alright? I don't want to be the bad person here."

A light seemed to have dimmed in Xander's eyes. He smiled ambiguously.

"Don't worry. She won't ask for a divorce. Without me, Josephine doesn't have a home. She wouldn't dare."

I looked at him, standing at the edge of the world. This man knew all my weakest points, yet he trampled on them without any restraint.

I finally understood that our time together was at an end, but why did my heart feel like it was being squeezed and twisted? It hurt beyond words.

Perhaps I had always seen him as my savior, my knight in shining armor.

Back in my sophomore year, Xander–who was a first-year graduate–confessed to me. He was the star on campus, someone I had secretly admired.

Me?

My mother died early, and my father started a new family. I had gained a stepmother and a stepfather. From a young age, I drifted from one roof to another, learning how to read faces, never again having a home.

It was Xander who made my insecure self believe that I was worth being loved, too. When he kissed me with utmost tenderness and gently called me 'Josie,' I suddenly broke down and cried.

Ever since my mother passed away, no one has called me by my nickname.

My sobs turned into laughter as I chuckled through my tears. That drifting heart of mine finally seemed to find a place to land.

After graduation, I gave up my guaranteed postgraduate recommendation and followed him to Lucerno, just because he said he would give me a home.

He said he wanted to focus on building his career, so I turned down job offers, took care of everything for him, and learned to cook and keep house.

I stayed by his side through four years of hardship.

Eventually, his career took off.

He immediately bought a high-quality diamond ring and proposed to me, saying, "Josie, you're worth it."

After marriage, he was always busy with work, yet from time to time, he would buy me expensive jewelry.

When I hesitated, reluctant to accept it, he smiled and hugged me, repeating the same thing, "Josie, you're worth it."

In those glittering moments, I thought that we were truly in love. I thought that I was finally blessed by luck this time. I finally had a lover and a family.

It was not until a month ago, when Josie returned to the country…

Josie was Xander's childhood sweetheart, the one he loved but could never have.

Life was like the sharpest, cruelest thorn, piercing through my fabric of happiness.

It turned out that Xander had only confessed to me because that very same day, Josie had announced that she had a boyfriend abroad.

When he kissed me for the first time, she had uploaded a photo of her holding hands with her boyfriend.

He only proposed to me because he found out that she was engaged. The diamond ring and jewelry that he gave to me were all her favorite styles.

When he called me Josie with all his tenderness, he was actually referring to her.

…

Every moment I once believed to be of happiness was saturated with his regret and reluctance.

I was never worth it in the first place after all.

A teardrop smudged the ink on the divorce papers.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how pathetic I was.

Xander thought that I would not survive without him, but I had places to go.

I picked up the pen and signed the papers without any regrets.

This time, I was truly leaving him.

Chapter 2

I dialed a number that I had not rang up in a long time.

"Professor Gold, can I still come back?" I asked anxiously.

Back then, Professor Barbara Gold had been very optimistic about me, strongly urging me to stay on for postgraduate studies and join her research team. Alas, I had let her down.

After asking about my reason, she said with a sigh, "I've long said it before. True love will be in your future, not stand in the way of it."

She added, "Yes, you may, but you need to pass an assessment, which is happening next month."

I agreed to it without any hesitation.

That night, just another night that Xander did not come home, I no longer tossed and turned in waiting for him.

I slept until dawn, then began my revision.

Who knew that waking up with hope would feel so good, compared to losing sleep over a man?

I thought that Xander would not come back so soon.

That night, he entered the house, looking tired. He stuffed something soft into my arms.

"Your three-year-anniversary gift."

It was a penguin plush toy.

Just like all the other incidents before, when he stood me up just for Josie, he did not explain himself or apologize. All I got were these vague, half-hearted gestures of reconciliation.

The penguin was still warm. I touched the little gift tag attached to it, saw that it said 'Free Gift', and felt my heart go cold.

"No need."

I did not need any gifts from him, nor were we ever going to celebrate our anniversaries anymore.

He was a little stunned, then annoyed.

"Josephine, can you stop being so petty? Josie has been a good friend of mine for many years. She returned to the country after a heartbreak. I can't just abandon her. Can you stop making such a fuss?"

My fingers unconsciously stroked the plush toy in my arms. I felt a small, fine ache coursing through my heart.

He seemed to have forgotten that I liked penguins, too. After moving to Lucerno, I had brought it up with me many times that I wanted to head to the local aquarium to see penguins.

He was a workaholic, so he never had the time for me.

All it took was one word from Josie, and he would drop everything to accompany her to Antartrica.

It seemed it was not that he did not have the time. He just did not want to spend it on me.

He thought that I had compromised, yet again, when he saw my silence. He patted my head.

"I'm hungry."

These words used to be like a switch. Once he said them, I would put everything down and whip up something for him in the kitchen.

After everything that happened, though, the warmth I once believed to be happiness was nothing more than an illusion.

I replied indifferently, "I'm tired. I don't want to cook."

He was a little taken aback, a frown forming in his brows. The next second, as if giving in, he pulled me into his arms.

"In that case, I'll eat you."

His warm breath brushed against my ear. His kiss fell, lingering all the way to my lips.

He knew I lacked love. He knew I was most addicted to his warmth. He also knew that just like before, I was easily coaxed.

My body shuddered instinctively, but I pushed him away. My heart had turned cold–how could I still give myself to him?

I turned and picked up the divorce papers.

"You said that you'd sign them once you return. Please sign here."

His expression finally darkened. He snapped, "If Josie hadn't been so kind to ask me to not argue with you, do you think I'd return so soon? You're almost thirty, yet you still act like a little girl getting all jealous.

"You're really getting more shameless and brazen. You think you can threaten me with divorce? Let me show you what it means to have this backfire on you."

He signed hard on the papers, almost tearing through them. Then, he used his phone and booked a divorce date.

"It's a month later. I dare you not to beg me to cancel the divorce at the city hall."

Then, he entered the guest bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

Josie updated her social media.

[Back from Antartrica. I'm fully revived! Thank you to my knight in shining armor who always pampers me like a little girl.]

She looked radiant in her selfies.

Looking at the 28-year-old self in the mirror, I looked haggard. My hair was dull and lifeless.

In fact, I was three years younger than Josie, yet in Xander's eyes, she was the one who needed to be pampered.

That made sense.

The right kind of love nourished quietly, like gentle rain. The wrong kind of love destroyed just as quietly.

Thankfully, this mistake was about to end.

Xander started giving me the cold shoulder. He got home later and later, entering directly into the guest bedroom every time without saying a single word to me.

In the past, I was always the one who apologized first. I was not going to give in this time.

Josie's social media always had him daily. The photos and captions were way beyond a normal friendship; it was borderline flirtatious.

Unlike before, however, they did not drive me mad with pain. I merely dimmed my screen and looked at my notebook covered in my handwriting.

My life no longer revolved around him, and I had lots of free time because of that. Besides revising, I went out and explored different places.

That evening, I reserved a table at the La Perle de L'Orient Tower rotating restaurant. While dining there, the restaurant slowly rotates, offering a panoramic view of a dazzling corner of the city.

It was such a romantic place. I had once wanted to come here with Xander, but he was always busy.

After living for seven years in this city, my checklist still had far too many unfinished items.

Before leaving, I decided to complete them. Alone.

Little did I expect to bump into the last people I wanted to see at the restaurant.

Chapter 3

Josie.

Xander was sitting opposite her. Even with his back facing me, I could sense how tender he was with her.

He even carefully de-shelled a lobster for her before feeding her.

She opened her mouth to eat, as though it was all natural.

"My gosh! It still tastes the same as it did over ten years ago! Nothing has changed! I really like it!" She smiled in delight, looking at Xander.

Xander jokingly said while continuing to de-shell the lobster, "I didn't change either. Do you like it?"

Suddenly, he stiffened, showing his nervousness.

Josie blinked at him in bafflement before pouting, saying, "You liar! You've changed! You have Josephine!"

She added, "Be honest! The rotating restaurant, aquarium, and the cruise by the river–we've had so many memories here. Did you take her to any of them?"

She sounded smug, as if she already knew the answer. She cast a glance at me from the corner of her eye.

"I've never. Not once," answered Xander without any hesitation.

My nails dug into my palm. At that moment, I finally knew. Every time he turned me down citing work emergencies was just an excuse. He was protecting the memories they had made together.

I had never been part of them.

"That's more like it," said Josie haughtily. "You said you'd always treat me the best. If you go back on your word, I'll eat you just like this!" She took a chomp on the lobster as if she were someone one would not want to mess with.

Her coquettish behavior and tone annoyed me to no end, yet I could not shake it off.

Xander chuckled just as usual. "You're forever a little girl. Yes, my princess. Anything you say."

Josie smiled triumphantly before pretending to just notice me.

"What? Josephine, why are you here?"

Xander turned around to look at me with a nervousness I had never seen before in his eyes. Very quickly, though, it was replaced by rage.

"Were you stalking me? Josephine, you were the one who asked for a divorce, and now you're stalking me? Who on earth taught you such dirty tricks? No matter who it is, you need to give them space. You doing this will only push me further away from you. You…"

He trailed off when he saw my reddened eyes.

He paused for a while before pulling an empty chair next to him. He softened his tone and said, "Since you're here, join us."

This was the first time he had noticed how upset I was in front of Josie.

Josie's smug smile instantly froze.

I was upset, but not because he no longer loved me. I was upset that I wasted 10 years on someone who was not worthy at all.

"I wasn't stalking you. I came here for a meal. Besides, I have a table on my own," I replied calmly before walking past them to the other side to my table.

I sat where they could not see me.

The night skyline was stunning. Who knew that the world without Xander could be so thrilling?

That night, Xander did not come home, but he suddenly shot me a message.

[There's a gathering tonight with a group of people. Don't think too much of it.]

I stared blankly at the message I had once begged for but never received, just to tell me where he was so he could put my mind at ease.

It was too late, though. There was no joy left, only the irony of it all.

Josie sent me another video of the group of friends having a party. They were playing 'Never Have I Ever.'

They were all childhood friends, their life paths too similar. After several rounds, no one could gain the upper hand.

Josie suddenly grabbed Xander by the collar and pulled him in. She kissed him on the lips for five whole minutes before letting him go.

"Never have I ever kissed Xander! I bet none of you have, right?"

She happily hugged Xander's arm, thrilled.

"I was only kissing for the game. Don't be mistaken. We're just friends!"

I looked at Xander's reaction in the video. We were together for 10 years. He was always calm and collected. Never had I ever seen him react in such a flustered manner. He was blushing so hard that even his ears were red.

Turns out, he did have passionate emotions, just not for me.

I remembered Josie once boasting to me. They grew up together. He bought her breakfast, took her home, wrote poetry for her, got into fights because of her… All the passionate things imaginable.

What I did not understand was, if she truly did not love Xander, why did she keep messaging me to provoke me again and again? She even kissed him.

Chapter 4

Since I could not wrap my head around Josie's behavior, I stopped thinking about it. I was not going to waste time on strangers–not anymore.

I carried on with my studies and checked out the city.

On the day I was about to leave, I headed for the Disnelleland theme park. I did not expect to bump into Xander and Josie again.

"Josephine, why are you stalking Xander again?" gasped Josie, pretending to be stumped. She continued, "If you love him, you have to accept that friendship comes first to him, and love second. We're only friends having a good time. Don't overthink it."

The same excuse over and over again, always trying to provoke me so I would lose my cool.

I could not be bothered with her, so I turned to leave when Xander called out to me, "Since you're here, join us."

After a moment of surprise, I finally understood. His sudden concern was not out of love, but of guilt.

The kiss he had with Josie had crossed the line, after all.

"Xander, I want some ice cream."

After sending Xander away, Josie looked at me in disgust. "Why won't you just get lost? He's only asking you to stay out of pity. The person he truly loves is me."

I finally asked, "Since you only treat him as a friend, why do you care who he truly loves?"

Josie snickered. "Back then, he wasn't good enough for me. But look at how amazing he's become! He is finally a worthy match for me."

She added, "No man would ever cherish someone like you who keeps sticking around. Only by playing hot and cold, he'd forever go mad for me.

"I know that you two have booked your divorce dates. Get it done today, or I'll show you what I'm capable of!"

Before I could see what she was 'capable' of, a sudden commotion erupted among the crowd.

Two men who had gotten into an argument while lining up started fighting.

Their burly bodies slammed toward us.

Nearby, Xander threw the ice cream in his hands to the ground and yelled, "Josie!" He ran over, looking nervous.

In the blink of an eye, he wrapped his arms around Josie and pulled her to the side, while I was knocked to the ground. Warm blood trickling down my head blurred my vision.

He was calling out to her. I should have known.

I headed to the hospital on my own to get my wounds cleaned and dressed. When I exited the hospital, Xander arrived in a rush.

He opened the door to the passenger seat and pushed me inside without saying anything.

"Josie fainted at the sight of blood. I had to settle her first, but I came as soon as I could."

While waiting for the traffic light, he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel before saying determinedly, "I admit I had neglected you, but when something happened to you, I finally realized that the person most important to me isn't Josie. It's you.

"Josie, let's cancel the divorce. I promise I won't ever let you suffer again."

My wound throbbed faintly as I was in a daze.

Xander finally decided to choose me. The Josie he was referring to was finally me.

Past-Me would have cried tears of joy, but it was all too late.

I would never forget how, when I was in danger, he went to someone else's aid instead of me.

"Too happy to speak?" He smiled and caressed my head.

He added, "I have a surprise for you tonight. It's something you've always wanted."

Oh? Too bad, the only thing I wanted at that moment was for him to leave.

When he had just parked outside the city hall, his phone rang.

It was his personalized ringtone for Josie.

"Xander, I think someone is following me. I'm really scared."

After a moment of hesitation, Xander handed me the documents. "You go ahead and cancel them. I'll come as soon as I can. I'm only treating her as a good friend now–honest. You have to believe me."

"Alright," I replied calmly, as if this was not the last time we were seeing each other.

After getting the divorce certificate, I scanned the place where I had lived for the past seven years.

The place where I once thought was home had slowly turned into a prison.

After a moment, I placed Xander's certificate on his desk, along with a thumb drive. That was my surprise for him.

Maybe a scare, too.

After all, in the thumb drive were not only Josie's disgusting acts, but also the secrets to how he managed to climb through the ranks so quickly over the past few years.

Even if I was leaving, I was not going to let them off the hook. This was payback for being lied to and the suffering of the past 10 years.

Before night fell, I left without looking back.