Chapter 1

When I was nine, I was caught in the blast while trying to save Joel Yorks, and the loud wave took away my hearing. Since then, I have had to wear hearing aids.

Joel felt guilty.

He insisted on having my hand in marriage. With his eyes welling up in tears, he swore, “Helen, I’ll take care of you for the rest of your life.”

However, when I turned eighteen…

Everything changed because he wanted to please the prettiest girl in the school.

He ripped off my hearing aid in front of her and our classmates and said in disdain, “I’ve had enough of you being a burden. I really wish you hadn’t survived that day when you were nine. It would have been better if you were dead.”

I clutched my audiology report and stayed silent.

When I got home, I quietly revised my college applications and formally broke the engagement along with my parents.

Joel and I would go our separate ways after that.

We would not need to meet again.

Chapter 1

“Helen Xanders, I really wish you hadn’t survived that day when you were nine. It would have been better if you were dead.”

The moment Joel finished saying that, everyone in the room was in an uproar.

“Damn, Joel, you’re savage!”

“Next time, say it right into Helen’s ear once her deafness is cured. I’m curious whether she’d cry when she hears it. Maybe she will act all meek and pitiful like an angelic b*tch.”

“So, what if she hears it? Who wants a crippled girl anyway? Only Joel is kind enough to keep her around, right?”

I froze where I stood.

I held onto the hearing test report in my bag, feeling lost.

After the college entrance exam had ended, my parents took me to another city for treatment. My ear condition got better, and I did not need the hearing aid anymore.

Today was my birthday party.

I had a surprise planned for Joel. I wanted to tell him that my ears had healed, and I would not be a burden to him anymore.

Yet, I never imagined that my well-thought-out surprise would reveal a painful truth I wasn't prepared for.

Joel’s words were like a sharp blade, stabbing straight into my heart, twisting it until I could not breathe.

My fingernails dug into my palms, causing pain to overpower me.

I bit my lower lip hard and looked up at Joel, wanting to ask him why.

However, he seemed not to notice me at all.

He hung his head low and casually fiddled with the white hearing aid, a sneering, lazy grin on his face.

“That’s enough.”

“At least Helen saved my life once when we were kids. Watch what you say. This isn’t something to joke about in front of her.”

Everyone immediately understood.

“Alright, we’ll keep our mouths shut.”

“Tsk, tsk. For Helen to get someone like Joel, it’d be worth it even if she stayed deaf her whole life.”

Another round of laughter followed.

“Alright, alright. Helen is a delicate girl, unlike me who can joke casually with you guys. Don’t go too far.”

Mandy Delcon walked over with a smile and announced seriously, “Joel, you’ve passed my test.”

“Now I believe you don’t like Helen anymore. So, we can go on a date tomorrow.”

Joel’s brows curved with a smile, love brimming in his eyes. In a low voice, he replied, “Okay.”

I stared at him, and my mind was blank.

It felt as if the world had frozen.

The mocking laughter and cheering around me rushed into my ears, eventually turning into a sharp, piercing buzz.

“Baby, what are you thinking about?”

While I was still dazed, Joel had already put the hearing aid back on me. A smile curved at the corner of his lips. “Are you so happy that you’re stunned?”

I had been happy.

My eighteenth birthday and my coming-of-age celebration. The boy I liked was about to confess to me, confirming our relationship in front of friends.

It was like something out of a romantic drama.

However, now, I opened my mouth, only to find my throat so dry I could not make a sound.

Others rushed to speak.

“Helen, just now Joel took off your hearing aid and said a whole bunch of mushy love talk. We got goosebumps listening.”

“Tsk, tsk. If only I had a childhood sweetheart too.”

“Not bad, brat,” Mandy said, hooking an arm around Joel’s shoulder and punching his chest with a laugh. “You are so lucky to get such a beauty.”

I said nothing.

I looked at everyone in the private room.

Some smiled as they offered congratulations, some gave a thumbs-up in praise, and some even said they were looking forward to attending our wedding.

No one gave off anything. Everyone’s expressions were too natural.

Chapter 2

Suddenly, I recalled all the big and small gatherings over this past year. There had been so many moments just like this.

Joel would take off my hearing aid. His eyes looked gentle as he spoke, though I could never tell what he was saying.

Later, he would put the hearing aid back on me.

Everyone would say he was whispering sweet words, making vows, promising he would never let me down.

If my ears had not been cured…

If I had not heard those unbearably harsh words coming out of his gentle, sweet voice…

I might never have known the truth.

Mandy suddenly exclaimed, “Oh!”

She let go of the arm around Joel’s shoulder and apologized to me bluntly, “Sorry, Helen. I’m used to messing around like this with the guys. Don’t be jealous, okay?”

Joel laughed and quipped, “Stop it. You’re like a teenage boy and don’t look like a woman at all.”

After that, the two of them started chasing around the place as if no one else were there.

Everyone looked used to it.

I closed my eyes and turned to leave. However, Mandy’s eyes were sharp. She reached out and blocked me.

Her eyes were full of disapproval. “Everyone came to your birthday party out of respect for you and you’re just leaving?”

Joel touched my head, coaxing me helplessly.

“We haven’t even opened the birthday presents everyone brought you. Don’t throw a tantrum, okay?”

I frowned and instinctively dodged his touch.

Ignoring the sudden darkness in Joel’s expression, I told him slowly and clearly, “We’re breaking up. Don’t contact me again.”

Then, I walked out of the private room without looking back.

On the way home, my phone kept lighting up with messages.

Joel sounded confused and upset in his text.

“What are you making a fuss about now? Everyone put in the effort to celebrate your birthday and prepare gifts for you, and is this how you show your appreciation?"

“Mandy was just too excited. She is straightforward and easygoing, not pretentious like you girls, so she put her arm around my shoulder. Didn’t she let go right away and apologize to you?”

A few other friends also started tagging me one after another in the class group chat.

“Helen, aren’t you being a bit too much?”

“You just stormed off for no reason. What did we do wrong?”

“Damn, our good intentions were wasted on someone who doesn’t appreciate them!”

I found it ridiculous and replied coldly, “Who’s the one being too much here?”

Then, I blocked them one by one and left the class group chat.

When I got home, I briefly told my parents what had happened.

I pressed my lips together. Facing my parents’ worried expressions, the sour, swelling pain in my chest suddenly surged up, and my voice broke. “I don’t like him anymore…”

“I don’t want to go to college in Eidolon City with him, and I don’t want to… marry him…”

My mother gently wiped away my tears. “Sweetheart, this isn’t a big deal.”

“Tomorrow your dad and I will go cancel the engagement. Apply to whichever college you want. We will support you. You have us behind your back.”

My father led me to the living room and handed me the cake knife.

“The cake hadn’t even been delivered yet. Perfect timing. Let’s celebrate a simple birthday together with just the three of us.”

“Eighteen years ago, when you were born, your dad smiled so hard his face wrinkled up. Birthday girl, don’t cry anymore. Come on, cut the cake and make a wish, okay?”

I broke into a smile through my tears. With my parents’ blessings, I made a wish and blew out the candles.

Just as I was about to cut the cake, the sudden ringing of the doorbell interrupted us.

I steadied myself and opened the door, only to find Joel standing there.

Rain was falling in a fine drizzle outside.

Thunder rumbled from time to time, streaks of white lightning cutting through the sky.

Joel was soaked from head to toe. Water dripped steadily from his hair, but he did not seem to care.

Smiling, he held out a beautifully wrapped jewelry box.

“Look! I picked out your birthday present especially for you.”

“Stop sulking, okay? Everyone’s still waiting for you back at the private room and don’t just say you want to breakup just like that anymore, all right?”

I looked at the diamond bracelet inside the box.

Suddenly, it felt familiar.

The necklace Mandy had been wearing today seemed to be from the same brand.

I did not react at all or reach out to take it.

Chapter 3

Joel’s arm froze there in midair.

After a long moment, he finally lowered the arm that had gone numb from being held up and questioned me impatiently, “What the hell is wrong with you today?”

“You were in tears when you agreed to my confession. How can you change like this in the blink of an eye?”

“Helen, do you even remember how obedient and well-behaved you used to be?”

My chest felt tight.

I did not even want to respond to him.

I had been immersed in a beautiful dream for so long, believing that I was the only one in his heart. I thought we would go to college together in Eidolon City, live and eat together, and, after graduation, smoothly get engaged, get married, and have children.

Until today, when the truth was torn open.

Only then did I finally understand the fact that he never loved me.

To him, I was nothing more than a burden who had saved his life as a child. I was just an insignificant person.

I took a deep breath and repeated calmly, “I’m not making a scene. I’m serious about breaking up. Don’t contact me again.”

However, Joel suddenly lost his temper.

He threw the jewelry box to the ground, anger staining his brows and eyes. “Helen, are you freaking done already…”

Before he could finish, he was interrupted.

My father stepped in front of me protectively, frowning slightly. “Joel, watch your language.”

“You’ve been caught in the rain. You should head back early, take a hot shower, and get some rest. It’s late already, so I won’t keep you for dinner tonight.”

My mother smiled as she handed him a slice of cake, her expression polite and composed.

“Helen has already made her wish, and she doesn’t need the gift anymore. Take this piece of cake back with you.”

“Go home early. Even boys need to be mindful of their safety when they’re outside.”

Joel stood there, stunned for a long time.

I knew why, somehow.

In the past, whenever he came over, my parents had always been warm and welcoming.

There had never been a time when they did not let him in.

He could not understand why my parents’ attitude was so different today. He hesitated, wanting to say something.

However, the front door had already slammed shut in front of him with a loud bang.

He was left there just like that.

I really did not have much of an appetite.

After taking a couple of bites of cake, I went back to my bedroom to get ready for bed.

My mother was worried and sat at the edge of the bed, asking softly, “Helen, have you really thought this through?”

There were certain boundaries between fathers and daughters, but my mother was the one person in the world who understood and cared about me the most. She was the one who knew my feelings for Joel better than anyone.

She knew exactly how much I loved him.

I lowered my head and looked at the white hearing aid in my hand.

Suddenly, I did not know what to say.

I could only sigh at how people could change so much.

When we were little, after moving into this villa area, I used to like following behind Joel, as if he was my brother.

Both our families were on good terms and even had business dealings.

That day, both families went to a factory in the suburbs, never expecting an explosion.

Remembering the survival skills my parents had taught me, I managed to escape.

However, Joel was trapped in the fire.

I watched the flames grow violently, watched him stand frozen in place, his figure gradually swallowed by the fire.

I had no idea where my strength came from.

Before anyone could react, I rushed in, grabbed Joel, and ran toward the exit.

We were just about to make it out.

Then, the factory exploded. The shockwave severely injured me, and I fell into a long coma.

When I woke up, I could no longer hear.

The atmosphere between my parents was heavy. Joel’s parents looked like they wanted to speak but could not.

Meanwhile, I lay listlessly in bed all day, unwilling to talk or to interact with anyone.

Joel simply stopped going to school.

He brought me all kinds of tasty snacks over, one after another, but I did not respond at all.

Finding the hospital too dreary, he snuck me out and took me to a shop where I was fitted with the white hearing aid I now held.

He was the one who drew the rice field and little fish patterns on it.

Clearly just a child himself, yet he clumsily put the hearing aid on me and promised with a solemn face.

“Helen, I’ll protect you from now on.”

“Our tutor said your name means light—something bright that guides people in the dark. He said light never disappears, no matter how dark it gets.”

He looked at me with quiet certainty.

“Helen, you’ll get better too.”

Chapter 4

“They say fish forget everything in seconds—but I won’t.

“I’ll protect you, my princess, forever.”

Those childish vows were remembered by only one person, which was me.

If nine-year-old Helen had heard eighteen-year-old Joel say, “I wish you hadn’t survived that day… if only you’d just died,” she probably would have cried her heart out.

But over the years, because of my hearing loss, I had endured plenty of whispered gossip.

I accepted Joel’s change in attitude calmly.

He would grow up sooner or later.

Back then, I saved his life, and the Yorks family wanted to make amends.

Over the years, they had given up nearly fifty percent in concessions. By any standard, that was sincere enough.

At the end of the day, we no longer owed each other anything.

Moreover, I firmly believed that I was a living, breathing person. I was not anyone’s accessory, not someone who needed to rely on another to survive.

So, I looked up at my mother and said with certainty, “I’ve thought it through.”

With my mother’s company, I changed my university preferences from Eidolon City to Capital City.

I thought I would stay awake all night, but instead, I slept surprisingly well.

I slept straight through until noon.

Still groggy, I instinctively checked my phone and saw that my pinned contact on Instagram had sent two voice messages.

They were from Joel.

Through the speaker, his voice carried a hint of cold irritation.

“Helen, once you’re done throwing a tantrum, unblock me. You’re an adult. Why are you still throwing such a tantrum?”

“Yesterday, Mandy felt incredibly guilty because you suddenly left. She said she didn’t know how to make it up to you and even went up to the rooftop, threatening suicide. Luckily, I managed to talk her down.”

“There’s still some time left in summer break. I’m planning to take her and a few of the guys to Artarca to go skiing and relax. Don’t get jealous. After all, her suicide scare was partly because of you.”

I was so angered by his shamelessness that I laughed.

Mandy? She would never try to die.

Back at school, she used to brag every day that she was “the woman among women” and “a fighter jet among men,” always saying she was different from those delicate, pretentious girls who wore fake no-makeup looks and acted aloof.

Yet, I had seen her trick countless times.

For example, four months ago, my best friend Nelly Landon held her coming-of-age celebration.

She carefully picked out a dress, did her makeup, and planned to take a set of beautiful photos to commemorate her life.

Only Mandy refused to cooperate.

The moment she entered the private room, she started teasing loudly, “Nelly, you’ve got a great figure. Have you slept with a guy before?

“Don’t be shy. We’re all friends here. There’s nothing you can’t say.”

When Nelly was driven to tears, Mandy immediately raised her hands in mock surrender and then turned the tables.

“Why do you girls cry so easily? Can’t you even take a joke?”

“Fine, fine, my fault, okay? This is why I don’t like hanging out with girls. So much drama every single day.”

Another time, when everyone was studying for their grades through senior year, exhausted beyond belief, she happily snapped ugly photos of everyone. She turned them into memes, dumping them all onto the school confession wall with the caption:

[Senior Class 2’s class beauty. Take her if you like.]

It was only after everyone banded together to report her to the homeroom teacher that she finally stopped.

Besides, I knew she had been on the basketball team for two years, using the excuse of becoming the “club assistant” just to get close to Joel.

I simply had not taken her seriously.

Back then, I was arrogant, convinced that what was mine could not be taken so easily.

Now that it had been taken, I accepted it.

I had misjudged people and saved an ungrateful person when I was young.

“Helen, if you still have even a shred of conscience, come apologize to everyone, especially Mandy…”

Joel’s messages kept popping up one after another.

I did not even bother finishing the voice messages before blocking and deleting him from Instagram entirely.

Outside my door, my mother was urging me to buy winter clothes with her.

“Winter in the Capital City is pretty cold. We’ll go and get you a few thicker outfits.”

I nodded and agreed.

What I did not expect was that after buying clothes on the second floor of the mall, we ran into Joel and his group just as we were about to leave.

Mandy stood out in a black micro-miniskirt among the boys.

She spotted me immediately and walked over slowly, deliberately linking her arm through mine with feigned intimacy.

“Helen, what a coincidence.”

Chapter 5

“I was really eaten up with guilt yesterday. I never expected you to have such a bad temper. I’ve always treated Joel like a brother. Don’t be mad anymore, okay?”

Mandy said, wiping at tears that were not there. “It’s still my fault though…”

“If I’d known my limits, you wouldn’t have left. Mrs. Xanders, even though I was so guilty I almost jumped off the rooftop, please don’t blame…”

“Are you done?” my mother cut her off with a sneer. “Girls these days really don’t learn anything good at such a young age. You just constantly put on an act that you’re a pure and innocent girl among the boys.

“My daughter doesn’t bother arguing with you because she was raised to know boundaries and not casually spew foul language. But what about your parents?

“All you do every day is dive into groups of boys. Do you even know what the boundaries between girls and boys should be? If your parents didn’t teach you, then I’ll teach you.

"Behavior like yours is... What was that phrase on the internet? Oh, yeah. Pick-me girl."

I could not help laughing.

I quickly shoved her away and said, “You’re gross.

“We’re not close. Please stop pretending we are.”

Mandy stiffened.

After fully registering what my mother had said, her eyes instantly reddened. She stood there at a loss, completely flustered.

Leo immediately jumped in to defend her. “Mrs. Xanders, how could you be so rude? Mandy almost jumped off a building because of your daughter!”

I glanced at him.

I remembered one of those insults from yesterday. “So, what if she hears it? Who wants a crippled girl anyway? Only Joel is kind enough to keep her around, right?”

Those words had come from him.

I suddenly felt sick.

“Helen, I…”

Joel instinctively tried to step toward me, reaching out as he always used to, wanting to take my hand.

“Joel…”

Hearing Mandy’s soft call and seeing her swollen, reddened eyes, Joel finally stopped.

He pulled out a tissue to wipe her tears and said, unable to hold back, “Mrs. Xanders, that was too much. Mandy didn’t mean it. This whole thing was Helen throwing a tantrum. It almost even led to Mandy trying to kill herself.”

“Mandy is young. She just graduated from high school. She’s only nineteen…”

“Nineteen?” my mother raised an eyebrow, then smiled. “You say nineteen is young, but my daughter is only eighteen.”

“They’re both in the prime of their youth. My daughter didn’t do anything wrong, so how did she become some unforgivable sinner who almost got someone killed, just like you said?”

“Joel, I still remember how you used to take Helen out to play when you were little, how you swore you’d protect her. But you’ve changed far too much. I am truly disappointed in you.”

Joel was left speechless.

Even as he wiped Mandy’s tears, he was clearly distracted.

The others behind him probably could not find anything to refute either and said no more.

I found it pointless and was about leave with my mother.

However, suddenly, Joel grabbed my wrist.

Lowering his head, he noticed the winter clothes in the shopping bags and said instinctively, “There’s no need to buy such thick clothes for Eidolon City…”

As he spoke, something seemed to occur to him.

His eyes lit up, and the hand gripping my wrist tightened.

“So, that’s why you blocked me and threw a tantrum. It was just you trying to mean something else.”

“Buying winter clothes… you want to go skiing in Artarca with us, don’t you?” He convinced himself as he spoke, the corners of his mouth lifting uncontrollably.

“Alright, stop sulking. I’ll book the tickets later. The flight is 10 o’clock in the morning. We’ll go together.”

“You’re wrong!”

I yanked my hand free and mercilessly shattered his fantasy.

"I'm not going to Artarca with you. I'm heading to the Capital City. Besides, my hearing has been restored for a while now."

The smug smile on Joel’s face faded.